


When in Novigrad

by Monsterunderthefedora



Series: The Misadventures of a Witcher and His Bard [3]
Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Gen, Inspired by one of the quests in the game, Jaskier can't keep it in his pants, Novigrad sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:09:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23970589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monsterunderthefedora/pseuds/Monsterunderthefedora
Summary: Jaskier has a knack for getting in trouble. Geralt tends to get dragged along when it happens. This isn't new.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: The Misadventures of a Witcher and His Bard [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1738909
Kudos: 59





	When in Novigrad

"Jaskier?"

"Yes?"

"How do you keep getting us in these situations?"

"Me? I didn't do anything."

"Then tell me exactly how we ended up here. Tied to a stake about to be burned as witches?" Geralt asked annoyed as he tired at the ropes binding them. Under normal circumstances they'd already be free by now and keep their merry way. Today was not normal circumstances.

"How was I supposed to know Novigrad didn't appreciate the finer arts?" Jaskier asked in a huff as he eyed the gathering crowd. 

"Is that what you call seducing the minister's son?"

"I didn't seduce anybody," Jaskier protested as he watched the witch hunter who brought them here come out. "You now if they're going to kill us in front of everyone in town they could at least give us the courtesy of letting us keep our clothes."

"Yes because that's the first thing they thought of when we were arrested." Jaskier couldn't see it but he knew Geralt was rolling his eyes.

It was just supposed to be a supply run. They were tired and hungry after days of travel. Geralt going to visit Triss when he saw Jaskier being dragged off by the local witch hunters who had assumed power over the town. Accused by the minister's son of seducing him when the father walked in on them. The bard couldn't keep in his damn pants for five minutes.

"The great Geralt of Rivia," the Witcher turned slightly annoyed to see the smug face of the man who greeted him. Caleb something or other. "The Butcher of Blaviken. You should've taken our warning when we told you to leave."

"I'm sure you're feeling very proud of yourself," Geralt snarked but the man didn't notice his tone. 

"I am doing the world a favor and getting rid of freaks like you and that harlot."

"Harlot, that's new," Jaskier added.

"Ironic coming from a man known for killing innocents when there's actual monsters out there." Geralt snarled but the man was unfazed. "Besides you don't seem to be too against magic." Caleb laughed. 

"That potion we used on you was just something we happened to confiscate from one of the many witches that were here before."

"Glad to know your strict morals are as flexible as your mother is." Jaskier taunted from the other side. Geralt almost laughed at the face the witch hunter made. Almost. 

"I've had enough of this talk," the hunter snapped. Turning towards the growing crowd in a display of showmanship. Geralt didn't pay attention to the what the man was saying as he lit a torch. The Witcher's mind still hazy from whatever they used on him. His hands feeling around for something sharp when Jaskier leaned over.

"They didn't check everywhere," Jaskier grinned as he manuevered his hips to reveal a small knife. "You mind? Can't quite reach it."

"Couldn't have done this earlier?" Geralt mumbled his eyes darting to the the flame being thrown on the pyre then back to the knife. His fingers grabbing it and sawing at the ropes.

"They were looking," the bard grinned as they were cut free. "Besides it wouldn't have been nearly as dramatic." The Witcher watched as the people in the town square backed away, the guards raising their weapons. 

Geralt made a note to never come back to Novigrad. Especially with Jaskier.


End file.
